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Stefi Bozhilova – a sunny girl with a restless, or, to put it another way, rebellious character. A traveller, yoga instructor, psychologist, hypnotherapist, blogger, veggie culinary expert, dreamer, practitioner... a sweetheart and a mother. We’ve chosen to present as a kind of statementher inspiring words about the times we live and evolve in, as well as something about her first steps in motherhood, in order to lend support to everyone who has had the courage to pay heed responsibly to the voice of intuition within themselves and who strives to grasp the wisdom of the Creator in all of His Creation and to apply this wisdom in real life too. / ~ the Editor
We live in exceptional and interesting times – with an exceptionally hectic pace and highly intensive change. All of us sense this. Each of us explains it in a different way, everyone has their own interpretation – in the life of each of us this Change manifests itself differently and this is far from always pleasant. And not everyone admits that something is happening and they prefer to close their eyes and proceed along well-trodden paths. Nothing wrong with that – it’s all a kind of experience!
Yet many things of old, things we’re used to, are on the way out and many new ones (which shock and sometimes, frankly, scare us) are coming, without asking us whether we want them or not They get themselves into our life and turn everything upside-down, but we can choose whether to help this transformation along or to put up resistance. It’s up to us.
When I was little, I’d often go out on the balcony and look at the night sky with its millions of stars and just one thought was screaming in my head: ‘I want to go home!’ And my eyes would fill with tears. But when I’m in nature, with just the right people, with conversations by the fire-side, songs and a quietening down in the silence… then this thought is absent. Then I just feel at home and I feel alive. And everything is perfectly just as it IS.
A prophecy from the Hopi Indian tradition of North America has already come true. It goes that in days of great decadence, when humanity forgets whence it has come and whither it should go, when the Earth is dying… people from all corners of the world, of all colours and creeds, will rise up and will follow the dictates of the Great Spirits, thus returning the beauty of Mother Earth. They will put their faith into deeds not words.
Every time I read these words it sends a tingle down my spine. A tingle because I’ve grown upfeeling all alone and alien but now wherever I turn I meet like-minded people. Shining and glowing… Caring not only about themselves but about the planet, animals and nature too. Living out their own calling, following their hearts, seeking answers, helping themselves by helping others. I see how the souls of the Rainbow Family awake, discover themselves, gather, get inspired and start to believe ever more strongly in themselves and their gifts, which they have brought to this planet. I see that something big is happening and how souls recognise each other from before. They seek, struggle, laugh, get inspired, share and create! And I realise that this prophecy is coming true. Along with all the dramas – personal, social, national and global, along with all the unrest, wars and famine in the world – something else is happening too. And as time goes by, it’s getting stronger and stronger, bigger and bigger and is starting to influence and transform more and more.
Life is perfect and everything is wonderful. Everything that has to, will happen to us. It will bring us into contact with all those we are sworn to meet up with in this life.
Everything we don’t want but which we need will happen to us nevertheless and will give us a nudge if we’re on the nod. We will learn our lessons, we will fulfil our mission. Now or further down the road, no matter. It will happen We will be ourselves and ourselves only, because there is no other way. Evolution proceeds full steam ahead. And the spiral winds upwards and only UPWARDS!
About just 40 days of motherhood…
I found out that my body is a perfectly self-regulating system – much more perfect than I had ever expected, despite all the information I’d read. You read and read, but until you actually live through it all in person you don’t realise how your whole body gears itself towards the little human and its survival. You only have to follow your child and not be misled by all the instructions about child-rearing regimens and it’ll grow up healthy, satisfied and happy. I was amazed how, during the first spurt in Lea’s growth, all it took was for her to wake up every hour for one night for my breasts to fill up and trickle exactly on the hour the next day. And that’s how it was for a couple of days, after which she returned to her usual routine of breastfeeding every 2 or 3 hours. And my body once again adjusted to be in line with her.
I learnt that the feeling that I don’t need anything external or extra to feed my child fills one to the brim and is endlessly satisfying! I’ve no need of pumps, bottles, sterilisers, packets of adapted milk and other ‘conveniences’ of the modern world. All my baby needs are mother’s milk and that’s inside me, is produced on demand and I can go to some hiker’s hut on the top of a remote mountain and the child’s food will always be with me – warm, nourishing and adapting its constituents according to her needs of the moment. That’s truly mind-blowing! Just as much as the fact that a perfect human being has been created and formed in my body in just 40 weeks.
I learnt that my patience has limits and that if anyone is to really teach me patience and humility then that’s going to be my daughter. Not that I hadn’t known this already. In fact I’ve always said that obviously not one situation or ordeal in my life has been big enough to teach me genuine patience and humility and that I’d clearly have to wait until I give birth to a child. Well, it was true
I discovered that the hormones which are released during birth and while breastfeeding really are here to do their work: however much she cries, however unsettled she is, no matter how sleep-deprived and stressed I am or how much some part of my body hurts: it’s enough for me just to look at her and I’m filled with tenderness and love. And with the feeling that I can endure many more sleepless nights for her sake and that it’ll be worth it.
I found out that the most wonderful feeling in the world is the feeling of togetherness which appears after a natural birth at which the father is actively present. And to my joy I discovered that our home birth brought us even closer together and that I love my husband even more intensely than before and he feels closer than ever. I’d like to tell every woman who worries about her husband being present during the birth – there’s no reason to worry! The experience will be intense and earth-shattering for him and will leave its emotional trace on him all his life; it’ll help him feel much more attached to his child and more emotionally involved with its upbringing in the years to come. As to the deep feelings of respect, admiration and a new dimension in his love toward you… after he has been witness to what his wife has been through in order to give the gift of life: there’s no point in my mentioning this, it’s obvious.
I learnt that having time just for the two of you is exceptionally important and there ought to be no compromise on this. The child has come into this world as a result of your strong love and this fact ought not to be neglected. Yes, time is limited and things are no longer so simple, but it’s immensely important to find moments for each other and to be alone together: in this way the stress for you both will be lessened and more bearable. Once again: give yourself over to your hormones and let them do their job.
I learnt that, genuinely and not just in theory, I love and respect myself and this is an ability and quality that I’ve developed in practice as part of my character. I’m not one of those people who’ll forget about and neglect themselves in the name of some unnecessary self-sacrifice for the child. I learnt that looking good and well-groomed is something that still makes me feel really good in my own skin in my new role of mother too, a role that I’m now learning. A happy and calm mother means a happy and calm baby. It’s so simple really.
To sum up, I’ll end by saying something that I haven’t learnt just now, but which I’ve always known, yet which has a greater force and weight today: nature is perfect! The human body is a direct reflection of natural laws and the rule applies with full force: that the less we interfere and intervene in it and the processes taking place in it, the better it functions. This applies even more to the baby and the way it grows up, is nourished and develops. And the way it is born, of course. The less we interfere with our unproven theories and hypotheses which turn their back on individual specifics and needs, the greater the chance that everything will turn out perfectly and in blooming health. My wish for all mothers is for them to heed their inner voices and their child and to follow their intuition, i.e. their own way. Since this is different and individual for each one of us.